29:19 “Those who hear the warnings of this curse should not congratulate themselves, thinking, ‘I am safe, even though I am following the desires of my own stubborn heart.’ This would lead to utter ruin! 20 The Lord will never pardon such people. Instead his anger and jealousy will burn against them.
I'm thankful that He is a merciful God and that He drew me back to Himself. He brought me to a point of decision, and I decided that my sin was not worth it:
A Call to Return to the Lord
30:1 “Suppose all these things happen to you - the blessings and curses I have listed - and you meditate on them as you are living among the nations to which the Lord your God has exiled you. 2 If at that time you return to the Lord your God, and you and your children begin wholeheartedly to obey all the commands I have given you today, 3 then the Lord your God will restore your fortunes. He will have mercy on you and gather you back from all the nations where he has scattered you. 4 Even though you are banished to the ends of the earth, the Lord your God will go and find you and bring you back again.And through that experience, He taught me that each day is a day that I can choose to honor Him, or choose to live for myself.
30:19 “Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! 20 You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life. And if you love and obey the Lord, you will live long in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.”
I have seen first hand the ravages of my life when I have chosen to ignore the love of the God who made me. It's a fine line - my heart is His, totally His now. But I am still learning what it means to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit. I still say things that I shouldn't. I still find myself judging others. I still walk too much in 'the flesh', instead of the Spirit. But I do walk in the confidence of knowing that these areas are those that I continually surrender to Him and ask for His help. I want to walk in His power and not in my own strength. I know He is a merciful God and He is helping me, even though at times I feel like an utter failure. I know He sees my heart and He loves to help me.
33:26 “There is no one like the God of Israel.
He rides across the heavens to help you,
across the skies in majestic splendor.
27 The eternal God is your refuge,
and his everlasting arms are under you.
I know He is teaching me.
90:12 Teach us to realize the brevity of life,
so that we may grow in wisdom.
14 Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love,
so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives.
I know I am trusting in Him.
91:1 Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and I trust him.
I know He is with me, and I love Him - not for all He does, but for who He is. Dear God, help me to look to Your eyes - to know Your eyes are always on me, and not to Your hand - desiring only what You give. May I rest in Your love.
God doesn't dictate to us what we do. I disagree with all who blame God as their puppet master, and live a life of resigned complacency because they don't control themselves.
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